January 2011
22 posts
“No matter the outcome of events in Egypt, there is no escaping the fact that the...”
– Chuck, on the topic of the runs (via chuckhistory)
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This is why I stopped doing open mics in... →
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George Clooney is not safe for children
Sadly, George Clooney’s shameful flaunting of his malaria is certain to inspire kids everywhere to experiment with malaria.
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“Never fire a gun in the shower. It will come back to haunt you.”
– Doug Lenox on Gun Control
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Sundance hates the future of Art.
Proof: For the seventh year in a row, they rejected my stop motion/snowboarding/coming of age/porno, even though it keeps getting better and longer each time I submit it.
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Just prank called a morgue.
I asked them if their refrigerator was running.
They said they didn’t have any refrigerators. They just use travel coolers with ice packs because it’s cheaper.
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“I’m pretty sure if MLK were alive today, he’d be doing precisely...”
– Doug Lenox on the decline of American culture.
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“Nothing says I love you like a plastic surgery gift card.”
– Doug Lenox on Gifting
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“Drinking alcohol is a great way to relieve the stress caused by your addiction...”
– Doug Lenox on Wellness
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“My new Zodiac sign is the same as my old one. It’s: I DON’T FUCKING...”
– Doug Lenox on Astrology
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The next big thing in Hot Topic t-shirt designs.
“Law enforcement officials said Friday they have multiple photos of Jared L. Loughner posing with a Glock 9mm gun next to his naked buttocks and dressed in a bright red g-string.”
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Travelmastersizers →
chuckhistory:
This is a new show idea Doug and I just came up with. Contact me if you want to executive produce it. No really… Seriously… Stop saying, “Yeah right.” I’m serious.
Genre: Comedy
LOGLINE: Two friends adventures in capitalism and drinking.
Travelmastersizers follows two friends, Ninja and Chuck, as they try to build a beer cooler empire. Ninja’s grandfather dies and he receives...
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“Home theaters are a great idea.”
– Abraham Lincoln
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Added an interests section to my resume in an...
My interests: money, women, and pottery.
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“In an ideal world, the 2010 NYC Blizzard TV movie would feature Nic Cage as...”
– Doug Lenox on Improving Amerca
I’ve been away from my apartment for so long that I’m worried I’ve forgotten how to irritate the shit out of my girlfriend.
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I’ve decided that this will be the year I get around to suing Napster for decimating the value of my REO Speedwagon CD collection.
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This coming year, I vow to exercise less, drink more, and achieve as little as possible. Set attainable goals people!