January 2011
22 posts
“No matter the outcome of events in Egypt, there is no escaping the fact that the...”
– Chuck, on the topic of the runs (via chuckhistory)
Jan 31st
17 notes
5 tags
This is why I stopped doing open mics in... →
Jan 24th
Jan 24th
115 notes
13 tags
George Clooney is not safe for children
Sadly, George Clooney’s shameful flaunting of his malaria is certain to inspire kids everywhere to experiment with malaria.
Jan 21st
3 notes
6 tags
“Never fire a gun in the shower. It will come back to haunt you.”
– Doug Lenox on Gun Control
Jan 21st
1 note
13 tags
Sundance hates the future of Art.
Proof: For the seventh year in a row, they rejected my stop motion/snowboarding/coming of age/porno, even though it keeps getting better and longer each time I submit it.
Jan 18th
2 notes
4 tags
Just prank called a morgue.
I asked them if their refrigerator was running. They said they didn’t have any refrigerators. They just use travel coolers with ice packs because it’s cheaper.
Jan 18th
5 tags
“I’m pretty sure if MLK were alive today, he’d be doing precisely...”
– Doug Lenox on the decline of American culture.
Jan 17th
7 tags
“Nothing says I love you like a plastic surgery gift card.”
– Doug Lenox on Gifting
Jan 14th
6 tags
“Drinking alcohol is a great way to relieve the stress caused by your addiction...”
– Doug Lenox on Wellness
Jan 14th
1 note
13 tags
“My new Zodiac sign is the same as my old one. It’s: I DON’T FUCKING...”
– Doug Lenox on Astrology
Jan 14th
10 tags
The next big thing in Hot Topic t-shirt designs.
“Law enforcement officials said Friday they have multiple photos of Jared L. Loughner posing with a Glock 9mm gun next to his naked buttocks and dressed in a bright red g-string.”
Jan 14th
1 note
7 tags
Jan 13th
2 notes
13 tags
Jan 13th
Travelmastersizers →
chuckhistory: This is a new show idea Doug and I just came up with. Contact me if you want to executive produce it. No really… Seriously… Stop saying, “Yeah right.” I’m serious.  Genre: Comedy LOGLINE: Two friends adventures in capitalism and drinking. Travelmastersizers  follows two friends, Ninja and Chuck, as they try to build a beer cooler empire. Ninja’s grandfather dies and he receives...
Jan 12th
5 notes
5 tags
“Home theaters are a great idea.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Jan 12th
6 tags
Added an interests section to my resume in an...
My interests: money, women, and pottery.
Jan 12th
1 note
Jan 10th
14 notes
7 tags
“In an ideal world, the 2010 NYC Blizzard TV movie would feature Nic Cage as...”
– Doug Lenox on Improving Amerca
Jan 7th
1 note
I’ve been away from my apartment for so long that I’m worried I’ve forgotten how to irritate the shit out of my girlfriend.
Jan 4th
5 tags
I’ve decided that this will be the year I get around to suing Napster for decimating the value of my REO Speedwagon CD collection.
Jan 3rd
4 tags
This coming year, I vow to exercise less, drink more, and achieve as little as possible. Set attainable goals people!
Jan 1st
1 note